Relationships, From a Woman's Point of View

Coming from a Woman's point of view:

I have had 2 very successful relationships in my life.  My first was my husband, I met at 16 years of age.  What was the first thing that attracted him to me?  First,  that he was a gentleman.  He asked what I wanted to do, he could laugh at himself and didn't take himself too seriously.  He took the time to get to know me, the real me.  He recognized my strengths and weaknesses.  He fell in love with me, as I did him, with all our silliness and with me having a typical red-headed hot head at times!!  But boy, he sure loved to see me get going!!  But what I loved the most was the love he had for me.  He wanted me to be happy, he did not ever restrict me from doing anything that I loved to do, often encouraging me beyond the faith I might have had in myself.  If I had any tips for my friends it would be this.  Know your strengths, know that you are OKAY by yourself, but if someone comes along that really takes the time to get to know you, the real you, then that may just be the one that adds perfectly to our life.  If we are coming from a place of lack, lack of love, lack of confidence, then many times we overlook someone who might not be in it for the right reason because we are needing love so much, that we don't see that this person isn't the RIGHT person.

My second relationship, was after my husband passed.  I was definitely not looking, I had so many adjustments to make, I had to stop resisting the life I had with my husband and be open to something more, but this proved to take awhile.  While on a grief site, I met my second love.  Once again, he recognized my strengths, my struggles. He took the time to get to know ME.  He became my best friend through the many years of grief and letting go I still had to do.  His patience amazed me, as I continued with the constant changes in my life.  My boys had moved out, I was struggling with the new me I was becoming.  He patiently waited, provided a kind and loving heart that made me feel safe to share what I was going through.  A total gentleman in every way.  This relationship has taken much patience and understanding as we live 4000 miles apart.  But with all the personal growth we both have undergone, we know this time was meant to be, as we continue to learn and evolve personally and spiritually.  Each person deserves a love that loves no matter what, even if it means that person needs to take another path.  Just like when our children are happy, we feel so happy because they are.  Even if it means we have to set them free and let them fly,  relationships are just like that.  We can't hold someone captive because of our own insecurities.  The best love is free love.  Being whole, is the best place to start for a successful relationship.

The one thing I have noticed in many situations that I have observed is that some people want to control everything, or have some really deep issues that they have to face.  Coming into a relationship with so much inner work can be daunting, but then sometimes just the right person comes along and can mirror the beauty we hold inside and can shine a light on all our gifts.  I have never looked for love, it has always been there.  I could have had many others in between my two, but I always knew this time was about me and my spiritual path.  AND wouldn't you know it, someone was placed on my path when I wasn't even looking that not only shares the same beliefs as me, but also has experienced the same loss as I have and has become my best friend.  Coincidence?  I don't think so, but it took great courage on both our parts to trust and keep such a long distance relationship going.  Actually with love anything is possible, true love....Love that does not try to hold on too tight, that is clingy or controlling.  True love, wants happiness and love for the other, no matter what.  I am grateful for the love I have had in my life, grateful that even when my mind resisted, my soul took over and allowed me to accept someone new into my life.

As you might be seeking love, don't worry because the more you find the love within YOU,  the love you are seeking in another will find you, without you even looking!!