Believe

By: April Rohde

After my husband passed, I could barely believe all the communication I was receiving.  The love I felt was so overwhelming that I would literally break down crying.  Not crying from sadness, but the realization of how much we are loved and watched over.  I remember when I was a young child in a abusive home feeling that same way, that I was powerful and strong.  I was not the names I was being called, that I was more than my experience.  I remember at times even watching myself from outside my body to see how I would react in certain situations.  As I grew up that feeling of watching myself and that voice inside my head slowly faded as I raised my own family.  I was so happy to give my children the happy childhood that I never had.  After I lost my husband, I remember feeling that same feeling of watching myself again, the voice in my head came back like a long lost friend.  A voice of knowledge. At times I would feel so angry, but then I would remember the love and that inner knowing that everything happens for a reason, and I would connect to my higher consciousness and feel that love all over again.

Loss is one of the hardest things that any of us will ever go through, but I knew that if I "Really" knew that Tom was okay, that I could make it here.  I couldn't just think "Yes, he is in heaven on a cloud"  That would not ease my breaking heart, I had to "REALLY" know.  Although my experiences might not prove life after to death to everyone, it did to me.  I came from "not knowing" to a full "knowing"  that we do continue, I have absolutely no doubts at all.

After Tom passed, I asked for a feather one day.  That very day, 2 hours later I saw something fall down in front of my kitchen window, I went outside to see what the bright white light was, there at my feet was a small white feather.  For three years after that first feather fell, I had three baggies full of feathers that I had found just right around my house, on my car, on my porch.  Most of these feathers fell as I was just standing outside or reading.  How do I know this is not just a normal occurrence?  I have lived in this house for 16 years, I spend a lot of time outside and never had I so much as seen a feather fall, much less seen them laying around my house or on my car.  I am the type of person that would pick them up if I had.  Those baggies are still in my attic, forever a remembrance of a token of Tom's love, the staple sign that helped me through many days of heartbreak and grief.  Something so small brought my heart so much relief and a knowing that only grew and grew over the years.

Love never dies, we are that love and we are always connected.  If we could just get out of our minds and stop the belief that some things are too good to be true, we could see past the veil of doubt that clouds our minds.  The reasoning mind will try to talk us out of the communication from the other side, the heartfelt simple messages may appear small, but can have a huge impact in our heart and soul if only we would believe.